Surviving On Their Own: What Determines And At What Age Does A Child Successfully Leave His Parents?
The United States
Education
US College Student Moving In
For many people in the United States, the decision to leave home parallels the decision to continue learning. Though approximately one third of students stay at home and enter primarily two year community colleges, nearly two thirds of American students live in college dormitories their freshman year (2). Because of the way the school system is set up, this puts the average age of students going to college 18-19 years old. But is this a good age to leave the home? One study has shown that if a child leaves the home in order to gain an education, he will receive a higher educational attainment, which will help him to be more successful in life (2). Looking at this, it would make sense to think that the 18-19 would then be considered a good time to leave the parental home in American culture. However, the same study shows that the longer a child stays with his parents before leaving for something other than schooling, such as marriage or a job, the more successful they are likely to be (2). This finding would support the idea that the ideal time to leave home would be as late as possible. However, one also has to look into the importance of social norms in this case.
In a study of Americans from metropolitan Chicago, 78% of the surveyed population agreed there is an age men should leave home, while 69% agreed there is an age by which women should leave the parental home (1). Whether this was through education, marriage, or obtaining a job was not specified. However, due to these social norms, though there may be distinct advantages to staying in the home as long as possible, it will not necessarily help one in the public, social sphere. Most of the surveyed population gave the age of 25 as the high end for leaving home (1). Using this, one can infer that the ideal age to leave home if one is not leaving for the purposes of schooling is somewhere on the high end of this range, perhaps 23-25. However, for those children who leave to go to school, 18-19 seems to be the preferred and successful age for leaving home.
In a study of Americans from metropolitan Chicago, 78% of the surveyed population agreed there is an age men should leave home, while 69% agreed there is an age by which women should leave the parental home (1). Whether this was through education, marriage, or obtaining a job was not specified. However, due to these social norms, though there may be distinct advantages to staying in the home as long as possible, it will not necessarily help one in the public, social sphere. Most of the surveyed population gave the age of 25 as the high end for leaving home (1). Using this, one can infer that the ideal age to leave home if one is not leaving for the purposes of schooling is somewhere on the high end of this range, perhaps 23-25. However, for those children who leave to go to school, 18-19 seems to be the preferred and successful age for leaving home.
Marriage
Marriage in the United States is not as large of a pathway to leaving the home as it is in other countries around the world. This is primarily due to schooling and premarital residential independence (2). However, the fact that United States females leave their parental home on average one year before males do is most likely to the fact that woman marry younger than men (2). Marriage, however, is not necessarily the major factor in leaving the home. Premarital residential independence is the growing phenomenon in the United States in which young adults live on their own or with a roommate between leaving the home and school and getting married (2). Many young adults who end up getting married were, in fact, not living with their parents at the time of the young adults’ engagement to one another. This greatly affects marriage’s role in the average American’s leaving the home, as more and more people are leaving before marriage. Even those who leave in order to marry tend to experience more problems than those who, for example, left for school or independent living. People who leave the parental home in order to join a marital union have significantly lower educational attainment than the latter (2). There are also more people leaving the home not to marry, but to “cohabit”, choosing to live with their partner rather than by themselves, but without making a marital commitment (2). All of these factors prevent marriage from becoming the major reason why children leave home in the United States.
Initiation Ceremonies
The United States seems to have many initiation ceremonies, such as bar mitzvahs, confirmations, and debutante balls, but there really is no formal, socially recognized “association between the physical, psychological, and social transitions that take place as individuals move from adolescence to adulthood” (9). One can theoretically choose to take part in all three of the aforementioned examples; they are not necessary to become an integral part of the American community and reach adulthood, although they may help in certain circles. This lack of a specific, mandatory initiation ceremony that recognizes the child as an adult stems mainly from three things: 1. The United States has a large, post industrial society. 2. Most Americans live in a permanent settlement. 3. There is a high level of political integration in the United States. Studies have shown that initiation ceremonies are rare in societies such as the United States, that are large, sedentary, and extremely complex (8). The general trend seems to be the simpler the society, the higher the likelihood of an initiation ceremony. The United States, though it may not have specific initiation ceremonies, does, however, have rites of passage. Upon getting one’s drivers license, right to vote, and graduation from college there is a distinct feeling of responsibility and growing up. However, none of these are specific, socially recognized ceremonies, and so cannot be seen as a true ceremony of one’s transition to adulthood.
Cultural Variance
Within the larger culture of the United States, there are hundreds of sub-cultures. This comes from both the broad ethnic background of the United States, known as “the melting pot”, and various movements and changes cultures have made during their time within the US. Even for the Native Americans before the time of European expansion, cultures were varied. Some of these Native American cultures exist still today, and may have specific ritual ceremonies to become an adult, though post-industrial America does not. Even within post-industrial America, there is extreme cultural variance. There are places with Protestants, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and many other religious practitioners, all living within one city. This has caused problems in the past of the United States, and some of those same problems continue today. There are also groups such as the Amish, who choose to live in a simpler society away from cities and many technologies. With so many religious and ethnic backgrounds and so many different beliefs, it is impossible to come up with an education system, marriage ceremony, or initiation rite that will fit them all.
Resources
1.) Billari, Francesco C., and Aart C. Liefbroer. "Should I Stay or Should I Go? The Impact of Age Norms on Leaving Home." Population Association of America, Feb. 2007. JSTOR. Web. 14 Apr. 2010. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/4137227>.
2.) White, Lynn, and Naomi Lacy. "The Effects of Age at Home Leaving and Pathways from Home on Educational Attainmen." . National Council on Family Relations, Nov. 1997. JSTOR. Web. 14 Apr. 2010. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/353797>.
8.) Schlegel, Alice, and Herbert Barry, III. "The Evolutionary Significance of Adolescent Initiation Ceremonies." American Anthropological Association, Nov. 1980. JSTOR. Web. 15 Apr. 2010. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/643477>.
9.) Hogan, Dennis P., and Nan Marie Astone. "The Transition to Adulthood." Annual Reviews, 1986. JSTOR. Web. 15 Apr. 2010. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/2083197>.
2.) White, Lynn, and Naomi Lacy. "The Effects of Age at Home Leaving and Pathways from Home on Educational Attainmen." . National Council on Family Relations, Nov. 1997. JSTOR. Web. 14 Apr. 2010. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/353797>.
8.) Schlegel, Alice, and Herbert Barry, III. "The Evolutionary Significance of Adolescent Initiation Ceremonies." American Anthropological Association, Nov. 1980. JSTOR. Web. 15 Apr. 2010. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/643477>.
9.) Hogan, Dennis P., and Nan Marie Astone. "The Transition to Adulthood." Annual Reviews, 1986. JSTOR. Web. 15 Apr. 2010. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/2083197>.
